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A Final Attempt

Amelia — Fri, 09 Aug 2013 01:38:52 +0000

So Mom leaves for her conference in California tomorrow morning. Like many of you have suggested, there was something I really thought I should show her before she left on her trip. Remember this folder with the slides of Mom, Grandma & Grandpa inside?

I wanted Mom to see this so she could understand that Grandpa WAS thinking of her. Maybe even had something planned for her. But this is what happened when I tried to show her:

*Sigh* But this “project” means too much to me. And promising to stay away from Grandpa’s things, and more importantly his life is just something I can’t do. Before I left, though, I did one last thing, just so Mom doesn’t forget that Grandpa loved her. That I love her. And that I’m here for her. No matter what.

Remember those empty frames that Mom had up on our living room wall? This is what they look like now:

I just hope she sees them before she leaves for her conference. Fingers crossed.

Family Stories

Amelia — Fri, 26 Jul 2013 01:58:10 +0000

I started this project to learn more about Grandpa, but as we move forward, I’m also learning about Mom. During a moment of charity and precision timing, Mom agreed to sit down for an interview. With me. In front of the camera. Yeah. What’s up with that, right? Was she taking pity on me? Did she just want me to stop bugging her about this? Or is she finally ready to talk about Grandpa? I’ll take any of those answers, but I kind of prefer the last one.

I had put off talking about Grandpa with Mom because every time I brought him up, she changed the subject. Even though I don’t remember them fighting, at least not in the classic sense, I could feel the tension between them. Okay, that tension kind of ran one way: Grandpa would talk about how excited he was about something dealing with tomorrow and the future, and Mom would roll her eyes and shake her head. Grandpa never seemed to notice. But I did.

Something about that look kept me from bringing him up with her. Deep down I just hate the idea of making anyone feel bad. Especially Mom. In any way. But I’m beginning to think that sometimes we have to hurt a little before we can feel better. Before we can heal. I hope that’s what’s happening here, and that this film will allow both of us to speak freely about Grandpa. And to open up to each other.

As for my interviewing skills, I do quite an amazing job of making the interview about me. I know that’s shocking, coming from someone writing a personal blog that says, “Hi, I’m Amelia!” But I really made a concerted effort to focus on Mom. I just got a little excited, know what I mean? Can’t wait to hear what you think.

Moms

Amelia — Tue, 16 Jul 2013 00:15:13 +0000

So, you know how some of you said I should maybe hold off on telling Mom about my little project? And going through the stuff in Grandpa’s apartment? You were SO right!

But I don’t know how much longer I could have gone without sharing all of this with her. Trust me, I know how hard she works. How she deserves what little shred of peace and quiet she gets. And I want to give that to her. After chatting with many of you, I just really believe now in my heart of hearts that she needs to see what we’re all seeing. That figuring out what Grandpa was up to will somehow be helpful. In a big way.

Here’s the video – see what you think.

Of course, maybe I didn’t have to stick the camera in her face without giving a heads-up. Possibly. Perhaps. I guess.

Way to go, Amelia. And not only am I a colossal pain in the rear, but I’m a terrible interviewer to boot.

Ugh.