Hi, I'm Amelia!
I’m a slightly overwhelmed undergrad, scrambling to find time between school in the smallest state in the union and work at a low-rent video store to make a documentary about my grandfather, Carlos. He was a writer who always looked to the future. He’s only passed a short time ago, and I miss him terribly. Read More >

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Telling It All

I asked Mom to meet me for pizza after class today, and she was happy to.  It’s a favorite place of ours. And as Megan Tweeted, no one had to do dishes! (Always a plus in my book.)

Anyway, for a while now, I’ve been agonizing over the best way to share everything with Mom. Of course when I finally sat down with her, I blurted everything out. All at once. Just bleh: Michael Lott, Wallace, Walt Disney and his Haunts, Edison Square, The Society, and how I really think they all somehow link back to Grandpa.

Mom stopped me. Leaned across the table. And she said she didn’t know how many times she had to tell me that she doesn’t know anything. Not. A. Thing. And that hearing about Grandpa honestly makes her angry now. Angry that he never talked to her about what he was up to. That he hardly talked to her at all. That everything he did was for work. And that he had the nerve to call it top secret.

I told her I believe that his work WAS top secret, but that he was thinking about her all along. And that I’m not the only one who thinks this.

She gave me a look. Asked me who else I had shared this with. So I told her about all of you, explaining that I didn’t know who to go to with the questions I had about Grandpa. I didn’t know how to make sense of it all. So, I just put it out there in the universe. And the internet universe was good to me, introducing me to good people. Really kind, generous people.

I thought she was angry before. That was nothing. And she didn’t get loud or anything. It was all in the way she said: You promised to leave Grandpa to me. That was personal.  How could you share that with other people? Then she said she couldn’t do this right now. It’s her day off and she has too many things to take care of. She doesn’t have the time.

When I got home, after work, I saw a note from her that she had taken another nurse’s shift tonight. But I haven’t given up. Just the opposite. I’m determined to see this through the end. I want her to know her father. And I still have one more thing I have to show her.



Tags: grandpa, mom

60 Responses to "Telling It All"

  1. Jason says:

    Don’t give up. The anger is NOT at you. It’s at the fact that she was cheated out of the same experiences we did. You will make it through this.

  2. Mercedes says:

    You totally need a (hug)! I admire your continued optimism and perseverance – keep it up!

  3. Ryan says:

    That’s it Amelia, keep your head about you and it will all work out. It is always darkest before the dawn. I can understand how she feels, the digital universe is so unpredictable, but I believe people are generally good, this blog has proven it, and the future needs all of us to show it. We’ve got your back.

  4. Carolyn says:

    Stay strong Amelia. I agree I think the anger is not at all towards you. Don’t give up on doing what you believe in. In the end she will see that you are doing something to bring you and her closer together. It might even help her with the way she feels about your grandpa. Big hugs to you. It will all be fine in the end. You have all of us as your friends to help you.

  5. Katherine says:

    Great attitude Amelia. I bet it is tough not to just give up but I commend you for pushing through it. I have faith that your mom will eventually come around and open up to the amazing things your grandfather was a part of.

  6. Sharon says:

    Your mom just needs to have “that break through” and all will be forgiven. Don’t stop now get the rest of the story out and maybe there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

  7. Kristina says:

    So happy you were able to get that off your chest. It seems your mom is hurt, but you are trying to help her. I hope she knows you are only trying to help her understand and feel loved.

    If your don’t mind me asking, what last thing do you have to show her?

  8. Dan says:

    Did you show her the note with her name on it? Let her know that her Dad was thinking about her…

  9. Joey says:

    Sounds like a tough day Amelia. But no matter how mad they get, families find a way to come back together. Hang in there. I don’t know….it seems really odd that she knew nothing about your grandfather’s work. You said she got really upset when you mentioned that you shared your research with others. If your mother did know about The Society, she may be charged with keeping it a secret. On the other hand, Wallace seems to have no issues sharing… What does everybody else think?

    • Amelia says:

      If you don’t know their relationship, it seems comPLETEly odd. But I also think that’s why she is so upset. As his daughter, Mom should have known SOMEthing. And she didn’t.

  10. Geren says:

    Amelia, I know how much it hurts to have those you love angry at you. Sometimes, I feel like I can’t say or do anything without upsetting someone. But, if your action and intention is authentic, and comes from a heartfelt place, it is the right choice for you. I am a big proponent of the Non-Violet Communication Method, and I suggest you approach your Mom in that way. For example, perhaps sharing something like this:

    “It is important to me to learn more about Grandpa. I also want to share this discovery with you. When I try to share with you what I have learned about Grandpa, I feel sad and confused when you don’t give me the time and space to share. I hope you will hear me out, and I promise to give you the space to respond, or not if you choose. He will always be part of me and my life, and I thank you for respecting that. If it is important to you that I not talk about him in this way, please tell me.

    Good Luck, my friend.

  11. Louella says:

    This is just a lot of information for your mom to take in all at once… stuff you discovered about your Grandpa, Walt Disney, your new internet friends…. I know that sometimes when everything is revealed to me all at once before I have a chance to process it in my head, even I want to go away, just to take a moment or two to breathe. I’m pretty sure that’s why your mom wanted to take an extra shift at work. Work is always a good distraction, especially from all this “new” information. From her actions, it’s tough to tell if she always knew about your grandfather or if she never did. Maybe she knew but buried all the memories away and never in her wildest dreams, did she imagine that her own daughter would be the one to find them. I’m banking that she knew something but probably felt really left out when your Grandpa told her it was Top Secret. Most likely hurt her and made her feel that her father neglected her or didn’t trust her. But I agree with the others. When she comes back from her extra shift, share the notes with her name on it. It’s a nice tribute to her from your grandfather. Tell her it shows that she was always the inspiration in his mind. I don’t doubt in time, she will come around. By the way, what is the ‘one more thing’ you want to show her?

  12. Carl says:

    I know that your mother has said she is going to Los Angeles for a nursing convention, but, d you think she might also be coming to speak to Wallace herself, to find the answers she needs for her own bright, beautiful tomorrow?

  13. Fred says:

    “But I haven’t given up. Just the opposite. I’m determined to see this through the end. I want her to know her father. And I still have one more thing I have to show her.”

    Good for you Amelia!
    It must have been tough getting that reaction from her, but I’m glad to know that you aren’t giving up. And remember, we’re all here for you! :)

  14. Angel says:

    As a parent sometimes it is hard to admit that your child has a good point or is correct on an issue. Her anger can stem from that too. Sounds to me that she is trying to be as practical as she thinks your grandfather was not practical at all. A very normal behavior. If you show her how much he really did care and think about her, maybe she will come around. Keep the faith and stay optimistic. Sounds like we are ALL behind you!

  15. Marcos says:

    Hope all goes well in the next day and afterwards!

  16. Angel says:

    Forgot to say…great story that your grandfather would tell. Sounds like a world where everything is possible!!

  17. Eric says:

    Dying to know what that, “one last thing to show her” is.

    Any chance you’ll share with us first?

  18. Dale says:

    Amelia, sorry your mom is mad something that we all face in our lives. Just give her some time. These kind of things take love, patience, and time. I don’t think that she is mad at you it is the not knowing and how to deal with it that I believe made her upset. With time I believe that you will have more discussions that you can show her how much he did for her as well as everyone else. :-)

  19. Brent says:

    I can totally empathise with you Amelia, just keep on swimming!

  20. Brian says:

    I am sorry your mom got upset. Maybe if we find out what your grandpa was up to, we can share it with you mom and that will help her better understand why Carlos was kepping secrets from her. Keep on your pursuit for the truth!

  21. Patrick says:

    Hey Amelia! As people have said above, I don’t think she’s mad at you. She’s got an old wound that she doesn’t let heal. I know that nothing can really ‘fix’ her hurt regarding your Grandpa, but I’m not sure you mom really understands the potentially massive impact of your Grandpa’s work. Yes, he was a dreamer.. Yes… He lived in a (what was then) fantasy world – but the possibilities of his work in the real world – when partnered with The Society (such brilliant minds) is a truly global improvement for our lives. I genuinely believe that he was working for the greater good… to build a better Tomorrow.

    I think she feels like her relationship with him was stolen by his work – and as it may seem like that – his work was FOR her. To make HER future a brighter and better place. I hope that she’s soon able to see his work not as a time-stealing mysterious secret, but as a generous, loving gift to her and her (and our) future.

    Keep it up! You’re doing great!

  22. Stephen says:

    Dint give up, I truely believe that she will come around in the end.

  23. Kara says:

    So sorry that we put you in thissituation with your mom, Amelia. Your Grandfather is definately a very sensitive subject for you mom right now and we should definately respect her wishes. But I am sure that everyone would agree that this whole thing isn’t something to ignore. Your Grandfather was apart of something so grand that it will change the face of the world as we know it. Maybe if your mother understood why we find it so interesting, maybe she would be more willing to share some of her stories. Have you shown your mom some of those pictures you found of her and her father. Maybe that will soften her up a little ;-)

    • Amelia says:

      Kara, you and everybody here have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, you all are the reason I’ve gotten this far and learned so much. You’re why I have a renewed faith in the goodness of people.

      As for your idea about how to approach Mom, I took it to heart. You’ll see what I mean later.

  24. Geren says:

    Just read on Twitter that Amelia tried to talk to her mom again. Sounds like she is having to stay with Vivian now for a while. It saddens me to think we asked Amelia to push her mom too far. I hope we can figure out a way to help. I hate to meddle, but we need to get Tanya some time off to spend time with Amelia.

  25. Vania says:

    I’ve been doing my best to follow along but I might’ve missed a post (who wants to work when it means missing out on clues?!): did anyone ride the Disnyland Railroad between Tomorrowland and Main Street just to check it out? The mention of dinosaurs again makes me wonder…

  26. Ryan says:

    Oh, Amelia,
    You were brave for trying again. Don’t lose heart. The relationships that mean the most to us will also bring us the greatest challenges. Over time, when your mom sees you are not giving up on loving her first, she will soften again. As for your conversations about your grandfather, maybe you should wait till she brings it up again. Like the parents in your grandfather’s story, you may need to not speak for a while, but you can leave notes of encouragement and love until she figures it out. She has always been an amazing woman, and this will not change that. Love will find a way.

  27. Amy says:

    Amelia, I know your mom is going to that nursing convention soon. Maybe she can stop by D23 and talk to Wallace! I know he’s been hesistant to talk a lot about certain thing too. But it could be a great opportunity for your mom to see his posters and understand the scope of your Grandfather’s work! I think she might see how important this is, not only to you and your family, but to the world.
    Don’t forget, we’re all here for you!! Keep moving forward :-)

    • Catherine says:

      Do you know where in LA her convention will be? If she won’t go to D23 , maybe some intrepid Optimists could go to her. I know she’s hurt and resistant, but perhaps if she saw how many people have been inspired by her father’s work she could at least understand where you’re coming from, Amelia.

  28. Geren says:

    Anyone heard from Lott in a while. I’ve been going back over all the evidence, and nothing seems to connect all the pieces as of yet. Everything is amazing, but if this is Amelia’s story, and possible ours too, I am trying to figure out how we all fit into this epic story. Hypotheses?

    • Megan says:

      I’m guessing it’s all going to come together at the D23 expo this weekend, and hopefully someone will post it for those of us who aren’t there. I haven’t seen anything about Lott lately, either, and was just wondering that myself, but I never e-mailed since so many other people were and just followed that part on here.

      • Geren says:

        Thanks, Megan. We just have so much data, I don’t want to forget them with new developments. We have some very large scale clues, and some smaller, more personal and emotional story clues, and I know we’re all working hard together to find the connections. I’ll be with you here online working on the D23 data too.

        • Megan says:

          Oh, good – I’m glad I’m not the only non-LA person playing – sometimes it seems like Disney forgets that there are some of us not on the west coast! :)

          • Ryan says:


            I know what you mean, feeling left out. But Disney hasn’t forgotten about us “flyover” people ( the people between the coasts), they can’t…we go to their movies…and dream a lot ;)

  29. Amber says:

    Amelia don’t let that get you down!! Your mother probably doesn’t want to hear everything about his past because she knows that his work was the reason they never had a relationship and it must be really hard for her…

    I think she just needs to cry on your shoulder and let her guard down for a bit… but of course she has to be the one to initiate that… im sorry for how it makes you feel, just know that everyone here is here for you and your mother will ALWAYS love you….

    Stay strong!! :)

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