Hi, I'm Amelia!
I’m a slightly overwhelmed undergrad, scrambling to find time between school in the smallest state in the union and work at a low-rent video store to make a documentary about my grandfather, Carlos. He was a writer who always looked to the future. He’s only passed a short time ago, and I miss him terribly. Read More >

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A Final Attempt

So Mom leaves for her conference in California tomorrow morning. Like many of you have suggested, there was something I really thought I should show her before she left on her trip.  Remember this folder with the slides of Mom, Grandma & Grandpa inside?


I wanted Mom to see this so she could understand that Grandpa WAS thinking of her. Maybe even had something planned for her. But this is what happened when I tried to show her:

*Sigh* But this “project” means too much to me. And promising to stay away from Grandpa’s things, and more importantly his life is just something I can’t do. Before I left, though, I did one last thing, just so Mom doesn’t forget that Grandpa loved her. That I love her. And that I’m here for her. No matter what.

Remember those empty frames that Mom had up on our living room wall? This is what they look like now:

frames-filledI just hope she sees them before she leaves for her conference.  Fingers crossed.

53 Responses to "A Final Attempt"

  1. Mercedes says:

    That actually made me tear up – the video and how much you both are struggling, then the photos and note. I hope it gets through to her!

  2. Sharon says:

    WOW so sorry this is going this way, sorry for you and your mom on what she is missing and how she is holding onto something so deep from the past, she just can’t let it go and open up. I love what you did with all the pictures. The wall looks great I am sure she will see it and respond.

  3. Sharon says:

    Oh sorry for the double post but the drawing on the folder looks so familiar to me just can’t place it, senior moment.

  4. Joey says:

    Wow, Amelia, sorry things went so badly with your mom. That was a rough conversation. What do you think you want to do now? We’re all here for you.

    • Amelia says:

      Thanks, Joey. I’ve been trying to reach out to her – calls, texts, email – but nothing. I’m starting to get a bit discouraged, but I’ll keep at it. And if I think of something you all can help me with, I’ll let you all know.

  5. Kalani says:

    All I can say is sometimes everyone needs to do some hard thinking and soul searching… And I can’t speak for anyone else but for me, the solitude of a long transcontential flight is very conducive to that. And what you did with the empty frames is most certainly thought provoking. Be patient, stay strong. Your cause is just.

  6. Julie says:

    Amelia, I know this is a little off topic, but you have some gorgeous kitties! And gorgeous kitties are always a great thing. I know it’s hard, but hang in there. It may take her getting away for a while (conference in CA), but she’ll definitely come around. I think she just needs some distance from the situation, which is why she asked you to leave, she just wants to ignore/get away from what we’ve found. But I have a very strong suspicion that she won’t have that option any more very, very soon!

    Sharon – I agree, that symbol seems very familiar. Reminds me of Communicore from the original Epcot.

  7. Geren says:

    Phew, I am speechless. Your passion is commendable and inspiring, and my heart hurts for your Mom, and you too. I am so touched by your act to show her that she is loved. This discovery aside, I hope this journey will ultimately be vital to the positive future of your relationship.

    • Amelia says:

      That means a lot, Geren. I really appreciate you understanding what Mom is going through too. I know it’s not her fault. It’s just the way things turned out. And now all I can do is hope that she comes around too. And sees that I’m doing all of this for her now, even if it may not look that way.

  8. Katherine says:

    Oh wow Amelia. That was tough to watch.

  9. Christopher says:

    I feel like I’ve seen that design in Epcot somewhere… anywho, I’m so sorry about your Mom – I’m having some issues with my own Mom, and I find that her mood will change depending on the day. I think that, if you get the chance to go to D23, you should meet up with Wallace and get some big Disney fan site to film it – I bet your Mom will take you much more seriously if she sees you going out to pursue your dream on your own, esp. if she still thinks this is just a “little project”.

    Every day WILL be different – some days are complete washes, others are days when she will actually listen. I think if you can get her to realize how important she is… even if it means doing something big <3

    P.S. Your frames are perfect.

  10. Carl says:

    Amelia, could it be that your mom sees a great deal of your grandfather in you and that fact frightens her, especially since she hasn’t seen the things he did to give her a brighter future?

  11. Ryan says:

    Good work Amelia! The frames were inspiration! Now, what will you do while your mom is in California? How can we help you with your next step?

    The front of that folder, it does indeed look like EPCOT, the city of tomorrow. Here’s a pic.

    How does this relate to the contents of that folder? That is the question I am asking myself now…

    Continue to follow your dream of this Amelia, with mind and heart. The reality is not as far away as it feels!

  12. Louella says:

    Don’t take your mom’s comments too seriously until she has a chance to calm down. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, we say a lot of silly things that we want to take back. I’m sorry that you had to experience that, but it’s good that your mom knows how passionate you are about learning about your grandfather. Hopefully it sparked a little interest and she is now opening that folder herself in her room. That would be great if she decided to look into that herself. If she doesn’t, I know that wonderful message you left her in the frames will touch her. It sure touched me! I do wish your mom a safe flight to California. As far as the folder, I am curious like my other optimists about the symbol in the front… hmm… it seems like a running theme of 8 just like Dan said. Just a side note, 8 is a lucky number in Chinese culture!

  13. Angel says:

    Wow! My heart just aches over that video with your mom. Remember people tend to strike out when they are upset. I love that you took it upon yourself to love on her instead of striking back. Very commendable. The good news is that she took the folded from you and has it in her possession. My guess is that curiosity will get the better of her. She just might lookto seenwhat you are making a big deal about and discover for herself what you found. The wall of pictures and message are great. Can’t miss your meaning. Know you have our support. We should know more soon. Maybe then she will see the value of what you have found. Was it not your grandfather who was always excited about the beautiful tomorrow ahead. Take heart. Tomorrow is a new day.

  14. paulina says:

    Amelia, Sorry you are having a rough time. Your mom loves you and will come around. She will appreciate the framed words you left her, but maybe it’ll be best if before she leaves in the morning you can give her a great big hug. Let her take your hug, kiss & loving words with her. When she returns from her trip she might be more willing to open up to you.

  15. Jon says:

    Fr some reason, that image on Grandpa’s folder reminds me of the Dharma Initiative …

  16. Stephen says:

    Amelia the picture frames were perfect and I think a good way to get your point across to her. Ia m heading to D23 tomorrow is there anything that you would like me to ask Wallace for you?

  17. Dale says:

    Amelia I really like what you did with the picture frames and you writing You are Loved is great hopefully it will touch her heart and she will be willing to talk to you more about him. :-)

  18. Zachary says:

    I am so sorry what happened. You are trying and that’s all that matters. I am going to miss you today at D23. I should have a Wallace interview on later tonight.

  19. Megan says:

    Generally people who really don’t care about something don’t repeatedly shout that they don’t care while getting increasingly emotional…so I think she cares. :) Actually, she seems to care beyond the level of someone who wishes they had been closer to their father – she seems to REALLY not want you to know about something. Maybe while she’s gone you can do some more digging and get more clues about what and why.

  20. Deborah says:

    Oh, Amelia! I can only add my voice to all those who are sorry to hear about the rift with your mom. If you didn’t get a chance to talk to her before she left this morning, I hope that you at least take comfort in knowing that your creative update to the wall art at home can’t help but make her feel good.

    If you do read this before she leaves and you try to talk to her one more time, take a piece of advice. As much as we all want to know her story, it is most important that YOU know it. Put down the camera and talk to her face to face. Let her talk to you, not your camera. #FamilyFirst, as they say…

    Here’s hoing all our Optimists at D23 get Amelia and the rest of us some answers to our questions!

  21. Jason says:

    Here’s a little tough love for you. LEAVE. If your grandfather is as important to you as you believe it is. Move out. Because SHE needs to know you are not going to let this go. Play her game. DO NOT LET THIS GO.

  22. Whitney says:

    Hey Optimist friends who will be at the Expo, here’s what I look like today ( I’m dressed as EVE from WALL-E!) if you see me ask for one of my buttons!

  23. Kris says:

    Am I the only one that thinks it is strange that your mom has a conference in California the same time D23 expo is in California?…

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